Heaven or Hell Which Is Better?

which would suck worse... heaven or hell?

there's the obvious answer. but i propose, it just not that cut and dried.

sure hell would contain endless torment. but it would also contain all the cool people. jesee james. edgar allan poe. beethoven. jimmy hoffa. judas. satan.

and soon to contain: ozzy osbourne. keith richards. salmon rushdee.

whereas heaven would be full of people like joan of arc, laura bush and jesus. snoozefest.

hell would have all kindsa cool music and art and literature.

while heaven would only have whatever the opposite of those things are.

lots of people have proclaimed they'd rather go to hell becuase it have more intereting people.

but that doesn't really make sense. if it's hell, it should be utterly boring. and if it's heaven, it should be mindboggling.

so, i guess somewhere, someone got the prerequisites mixed up.

if i believed in heaven i'd say it's somewhere between orgasm and i love you.

if i believed in hell i'd say i'ts somewhere between hello and goodbye.


  1. Years ago, around her 90th birthday, I asked my grandmother why she was afraid of dying.

    She said she didn't want to die until she was sure she would see me in Heaven.

    I'd always pictured hell as a combination of New Orleans and Amsterdam. I rather flippantly told her that I didn't want to go to Heaven, that all the interesting people were going to be in Hell.

    I think I broke her heart that day.


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