Is It What You're Wearing or What Wears You?

i'm thinking of starting a recurring piece called What T-Shirt Will I Be Wearing Today?

i have a somewhat decadent t-shirt collection made up, for the most part, of ones displaying silly and/or offensive things.

today i've selected this shirt:

screw you t-shirt

i put this shirt in the mildly offensive category because while shopping at, i was first offered the "fuck you and your imaginary god" version and wimpily opted for the toned down, don't arrest me, screw you version.

but the really interesting part, isn't what the shirt says to other people, it's what it says about me.

i've worn this particular tee many times in public. the supermarket. barnes and noble. applebee's. etc. etc. and never have i seen even one person react even remotely offended by it. the fact is, i don't think anyone ever even noticed what was written on my shirt. or noticed me at all really.

apparently i am invisible. invisible when i'm driving my car and someone wants to enter the flow of traffic. invisible when i'm bicycling and there's an intersection to negotiate. and invisible when i wear offensive t-shirts as well.

perhaps they would've noticed if the shirt were yellow instead of grey. but that color choice wasn't offered to me at the time of purchase.

i also have this shirt:

spongebob's face t-shirt

it caused quite a ruckus in pathmark one day. every child that saw me (and every child in the store did see me), was uncontrollably possessed with a primal desire to point at me and shout spongebob! spongebob! over and over until their parents finally smacked them.

true, i am sort of yellow and spongy. and sometimes infact, my pants are square. but, much to my dismay, i am not now, nor have i ever been spongebob squarepants.


  1. LOL! I love your SpongeBob shirt. It's one of the best shows on television. Keep up the good work!


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