Deep Thoughts: Inspiration

i don't know what to do.

i don't have that much experience dealing with other people. especially on an emotional level.

actually, i really can't deal with people at all on any emotional level sober.

repress. repress. repress.

that's all i do until the moment that enough toxins have dilluted my blood that my usual self drifts away inside a tactile bubble of exoneration.

therapy seems the obvious answer. but again, problems emoting sober. like i'm gonna do it with some stranger who i'm paying to listen to me.

i was reading a blog, which i won't mention the name of or link to, because i'm not certain the owner of would be happy with that, but they definitely had an interesting perspective.

evidently how i've fucked up my life has become their inspiration not to fuck up their's. neat-o.

hey, it beats just being forgotten.

i can understand how one might see it that way. she brings it on herself.

and yea, i guess sometimes i do.

and while i'm sure there were/are other much greater motivating factors in their life besides the train wreck that is me, that's what they chose to write about in that particular post.

it was just weird to see somone else writing about me. i'm just astounded they still think about me at all.

it's strange how you can go through your life only seeing in and never out. thinking people are touching you and never realizing every time they touch you you might be touching them.

p.s. crisis averted. comments are back on.