Happy Mother's Day

seeing how today was mother's day, i thought i'd write something about that. besides, i couldn't think of any other topics.

to be nice to mom today i got her a box of godiva truffles, unloaded the dishwasher and cleaned up the cat puke.

after i was done with those niceties, i started to think about blogs. what other people might write in theirs about this very same subject.

i imagined people saying things like i love you mom. thanx so much for giving birth to me.

while, i do love my mother dearly, i'd never thank her for giving birth to me. i don't blame her either. how could she have known the dark soul which would be conceived. and to her credit, she has always been rather understanding. i think she's just glad i'm not a serial killer. or else she thinks i am and is in denial. i'm not sure which.

i probably would be a serial killer if my iq were like twenty points higher. but as it stands now, i'm just not smart enough. thanx mom for smoking while you were pregnant. you saved me from a terrible life of crime.

i'd say happy mother's day to all you mothers out there, except, i don't think people should reproduce. so if i did i'd be a hypocrite.

but i can say this in good conscience. here's hoping the fruit you spit from your loins is glad that you did.