Better? Worse? The Same?

i tried something new today. i tried to write something poetic in the very, very sober afternoon. i wanted to see if it would be better, worse or the same as something written on a very, very unsober night.

the daytime thing:


08-28-05 sunday 3:47pm

yield me. i am soft. tar roof as the sun beats down on. yielding unto the pressure of even the most gentle touch. and soon solifying the impression as the coldness sitffens me anew.

souveniers for sharp-shooting hearts. burst balloons and stuffed teddy bears. saltwater wringing your nostrils and the wind in our ears. walking on that brittle wood and that shifting sand. coaxed toward the roar of the ocean as it ceaselessly tugs at.

lay us down there and let us be. part of the water as it dances with the moon. not forever like they do. but just long enough that it will go with us after we leave.


the night time thing:


08-27-05 saturday 11:20pm

opening the darkness. threshold parting to accomodate. ugly. ugly hours fixating on from where they came.

tumbling as hours do. every footstep begging you to fall until at last. the blanket unravels and the shivers consume.

what was left of. whatever existed in. rose petals choked from their stems. whispers of dying men.

touching as only skin would allow. stifled thoughts give in. until there is nothing left to want.

unrepentant. unabsolved.

puddles that the rain makes as it falls. filling in the footprints we made as we walked.


now i know if i asked some healthy outlook on life sorta person they'd assure me the sober one was better. even if they didn't really think so.

they seem sorta the same to me. which is irritating. cause damn, there goes my last excuse.

Comments

  1. It's interesting to see your view when you haven't had a few beers quite yet. There is much light in your words. The daytime writing feels like you have a warm outlook on life. That shadow of negativity doesn't seem to linger as much as it does when you write darker images.

    I do like your evening poems also. They are descriptive and thought provoking. But I get such a strong sense of bitterness at times.

    My thoughts are that your poems are neither better or worse depending on your sobreity. I would have to say that they are the same. It just so happens that your outlook on life when you write clear headed, tends to be more positive and hopeful.

    And I like that side of you.

    Your honesty in your poems, whether they are dark or not, bestows wonderful beauty regardless of your mood at the time.

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