Broken Tear Ducts

i'm endlessly fascinated by reality shows that evoke drama through close human interaction. right from when 'the real world' made it's debut, i was enrapt. then came survivor. the amazing race.

what do i find so fascinating. for one, that people opt to interact at all.

but ignoring my anti-social tendencies, what's really weird is how people get to missing their friends and family so quickly. the production of these shows (for the contestants) lasts what, 1 or 2 months. and yet, these people, even the men, get so fucking weepy, when after 20 or so days, they get to read an email or see a two minute video from home. i don't get it.

i spent three months in europe. which included my 23rd birthday. most of it trapped in london. a long story. the apartment in amsterdam didn't work out.

i was with my mom. but bro and grandma and dad were all back home in jersey. i really didn't miss em. i missed malcolm, my cat. except he had already been dead a while. sometimes i still miss him. my fat, orange, kitty. who was as anti-social as i am, if not more.

i guess that's sound cold and heartless. i know it does. it's not that i don't care. well, i care about bro anyway. the other two i can do without. it's just i'm me. not them. they're them, not me. we just so happen to know and love eachother because that's how the dna worked out.

and anyway, the more you love something or someone the faster it either disappoints you or else goes away.

can you say emotionally repressed? i know i can and have.


  1. I am a crazy fanatic when it comes to the "Real World". I wouldn't miss that show for the world.

    I used to dream about going on the show, but I'm too old for it now.

    I also like the "Surreal Life". Especially this season. There's a nutjob on there named Janice, that I am convinced could use a couple volts of shock therapy.

    Other 'reality' shows I watch regularly are: Inked, Miami Ink, Intervention, Kill Reality, 30 days, and finally, my most embarassing reality show that I watch even though I think it is terrible, is...::drumroll:: Laguna Beach.


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