Deep Alone Thoughts

i'm only myself when i'm alone.

no one else has ever met me.

we're only ourselves when we're alone. because that is the only time there is no one else that we're asked to be.

i've only ever loved myself when i'm alone.

only ever hated myself then as well.

all those faces that peer through the glass only see the pictures that i hang there.

all those fingers that grip the knob. try to pick the lock. when i open the door it's just like a magician's disappearing box. an empty facade while behind a false panel the contents are hidden.

we are someone different everytime a different person breaches our self-contained world. we are that which they need from us. that which they desire. or whatever it is we think we must be to convince them to love us. or need us. or keep us. or see us as worthy. whatever the task. whatever the field. home. friends. work. play.

we are only ourselves when we're alone.

but what's most important is that it's not just us. it's everyone.

we are alive in our thoughts. and dead in our hearts. because no one, but ourselves can ever really know us. and alone won't ever be enough. no matter how close they might come.