Deep Thoughts: Monogamy

hmmm... well, i've made some allusions to fidelity and such in some of my posts. because such was my epxerience.

but i just want to make it clear, for the record. i have no loyalities to marriage. and condemn it as a religious instituion.

and i find the idea that love is synonymous with exclusive relations childlike and possessive.

and while i realize as an american it's a hard thing to accept. i still acknowledge that the idea of two people spending their entire lives with only each other is noble at best. possessive at worst.

love is not about possessing that which. it's supposed to be, as far as i'm concerned, the desire for their happiness, instead of our own.

sure, we have our wants. our own needs. but they are just that. not love. just desire wonton.

i can't have any problem with extramarital affairs given the fact that i find marriage a joke. i'd like all people. all partners to be able to be that open. that honest with one another. but it ain't ever going to happen.

and it's a shame that love should be weighed on such titled scales. it's sad that love is downgraded to the question of monogamy. and sadder still that happiness should depend upon such frivolities.

when and if people ever come to terms with the fact that they're animals. no better. no worse than. all these discrepencies would then be resolved.

until then, just call us stupid americans. cause that's what we are.


  1. #1. Marriage is something that I don't want. However, if someone else does so be it.

    #2. However, once someone enters into marriage I think you are entering into a contract. If you go for the old customs then you must abid by all the customs. Even the monogamy ones.

    #3. There are people with open marriages. I know a few. It's intersting to watch.

    #4. Though I do not condemn the "other woman/man" just the person who is in the "contract" for entering the contract in the first place. Idiots.

    Does that make sense?

  2. Oh yeah and the sisters I am refering to:

    My sister is in a relationship with a married man.

    My other sister is living with and having a relationship with a married woman.

    So yay.

  3. Monogamy is important if those in the relationship believe it is. Myself, if I was in a relationship--especially in a marriage, and I do believe in and want marriage--with a partner who kept going off and having affairs, I would be heartbroken. My self esteme would be shattered by what I would view as a statement that I was not enough, not good enough.

    But then again, to each his own, and if it harm none . . . do as ye will.

  4. Don't you think that a little of your not giving a shit about marriage and love is a result of seeing your Mother and Father fail in their union?

    Imagine that they have been married for 30+ years. Had problems, grew together, loved eachother...

    Is it possible that your views on love and marriage would be significantly different?

    I feel like that's a hard question to answer because we don't know what we don't know. But think about it.

  5. Dena does have a valid point.

    As for me, I do not despise marriage... I just despise most of the people who get married. Because marriage is a contract, on multiple-levels, and too many people take it far too lightly.

    Marriage and sex: marriage with just two people is a fairly recent evolution. Used to be men were allowed multiple wives, and in some cultures, still are. The Judeo-Christian-Islam branch of mono-theism was (historically) a proponent of polygamy.

    Personally, I am capable of monofidelity, but only for a handful of years. It is not that I 'stray' or lose interest, it is just that it is difficult to be 100% in the moment with someone, experiencing sex with a partner as if it is the first time, when it is the 700th time.

    And me, I just don't do anything half-heartedly.

  6. So when do we go back to life without the labels? It's just sex! Nobody feels bad about sex until someone else is involved:

    1. The person you "should" be sleeping with.

    2. The person you used to sleep with.

    3. The person you really want to sleep with.

    4. The person THEY "should" be sleeping with....etc.

    See how that goes? The traditional marriage contract doesn't get enforced until you die. The prenuptial agreement, however....


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