Deep Thoughts: Untitled Part 3

am liking the she said, he said format. it makes all those feelings seem imaginary. so i'm sticking with it until it fails me.

he tried to listen, but couldn't hear. because all the words she spoke were meant to be misunderstood. not heard at all. only her voice acknowledged.

she poured the water into the machine and said nothing until he spoke to her.

"forgotten how to speak?", he quipped.

"what's there to say?" she asked.

she carried herself up the stairs to find her space again. her orbit as it were. the magnetism of alone drawing her into its grasp.

while she listened to strangers mourn the aches they had now sold for profit, she thought is my pain not worth as much as theirs. is the grief i commit to the pages less worthy of understanding. am i dead as i've always thought. and for anyone to grieve me now would just be repetitious.

he was always generous with his paycheck and nothing more. he was a collage of persons who had been important in her life. an acid trip of memories turned dark and fiercesome as she lay trapped under the influence of substances more potent than her darkest thoughts.

she turned to the paper and gripped the pen with a hesitant hand. transfixed as the date she'd inscribed stared back demanding further clarification.

but she wrote nothing there. only laid uneven curls upon the sheet. filling them in with black ink as she saw fit. wondering if she'd lost the words or if they'd finally decided to leave.

he said, you never wrote a single word. but you've alwayhs been written by them.

you need not save yourself. you never wanted to anyway.

you've never wanted anything except a beautiful reason to leave us.

and now you have it.


  1. Pretty interesting blog :) i guess i will visit it again :)


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