A Rare Funny Post (I Think) I'm Not Making Any Promises

foods i hate (in no particular order)
  1. yogurt: serve me up some of that reconstituted sour milk. yum!
  2. grilled cheese: there's nothing like the taste of burning flesh on the roof of your mouth.
  3. berries! damn it! i hate berries. every last god damn one of them!
  4. anything, particularly things (and i do mean things) distributed by kraft, which are referred to as cheese food product.
  5. mushrooms: vile fungus. why not just eat the stuff you collect from between your toes?
  6. wine: while it's technically a beverage and not a food, i'm going to include it anyway, because that's how much i hate it. all the very best wine is still made by the traditional foot-stomping method. i'd like a tall glass of feet please. mmmmm.
  7. veal: just because it's so cruel.
  8. shrimp: bottom feeders people! i don't wanna eat anything that spends its life eating the other fish's shit off of the bottom of the ocean.
  9. raisins: oh my god, do i hate raisins! more rotted food that some marketting genius convinced people to eat. why yes, i would like some 100 year old grapes. serve with a tall cool glass of dirt and you're good to go.
  10. duck: no... not the duckies. anything, but the duckies. poor duckies. you may as well, just go ahead and eat puppy.

Comments

  1. I think I like everything on your list. I don't eat veal though. It's my one PETA-like sadness. Poor veal.

    ReplyDelete
  2. yea, veal is relly harsh. peta, they're harsher yet. but...

    the duckies. oh, you eat the poor duckies.

    how? why?

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is the first time I checked out your blog. I thought this list was great. Keep up the good work.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment