Trapped in the Thunderdome

update august 17, 2005

tattooed brain prevailed in the thunderdome. yay for him. and i breathe a sigh of relief that i was not his downfall. am looking forward to reading his stories well into the future. a future which now includes the next two months. sweet!!!

chronic's not up next, but says he's in the queue. his is a less emphatic design anyway. so i don't worry too much about that, but wish him the best of luck still the same. and p.s. thanx for the inspiration on this:

what dark mornings become those of which we slumber into with eyes wide open. what moments we wither into with prosaic grief as the blossom of our desire stiffens under a merciless sun.

wake yet not, those sleeping corpses. as tireless fingers tug against the loosened soil about their beds.

sleep still and dream again. of time not chronic. and loves not wasted.

- by me, august 9, 2005 at my dark poetry site


there's this recurring contest called Blog Thunderdome. their catchphrase is two blogs enter only one blog leaves.

it's sposed to be humorous. people leave comments, but then the official judges make snarky comments about both entered blogs and issue a verdict as to which is less sucky.

the loser is banned from blogging for a duration of 2 months (violators of the ban will be shunned by all the internet). harsh.

the point is, this is exactly the type of competition i would NEVER EVER EVER enter. NEVER.

some people have a shortage of self-confidence. whereas my self-confidence is a blackhole with a gravitational pull so strong not even the tiniest shred of confidence can ever hope to escape.

so what happens. i am entered by proxy into blog thunderdome, not once, but twice.

i read tattoed brain all the time. and had noticed both TB and some of his readers were not hating the design, but were not satisfied with it either. so i thought, i can maybe help. it's what i do afterall. i design websites. and i did. he seemed to like it a lot at first. he's probably rethinking that now.

right after i did the tattooed brain redesign up went the thunderdome button and down sunk my heart. my delicate, delicate ego at centerstage of a snarkfest.

a little while later, having not yet seen the comments people had left at the thunderdome (intentionally having avoided it) insulting the colors, contrast, font style, size, i offered up another free design for some other blogger.

that blog ended up being Ask A Pothead. so i did that site and it went up and he seemed pleased.

at some point i sent chronic (the purveyor of askapothead) an email and at the end of the email knowing he liked tb too, i asked him to go support tattooedbrain at the thunderdome. and he wrote back, he was afraid to because he didn't wanna piss anyone off, cuz his blog was up next in the thunderdome.

it's a conspiracy. they're all out to get me. delicate ego, blackhole of self-confidence, sad poetry writing me. they're trying to break me and i think they're succeeding.

i'm starting to get that no good intention goes unpunished concept.

damn you, blog thunderdome, and your self-righteous, sardonic humor. i never entered. NEVER. and yet in it i am. twice.


  1. Well....I gave you the opportunity to help me out.

    Now look what happened. :)

  2. To clarify... I'm not necessarily next in Thunderdome, but my site was submitted. It could be up at any time.

  3. dena: there's no way i could ever design a site to reflect you.

    chronic: thanks for the clarification. maybe there'll be a short reprieve for me before the agony begins again.

  4. Just to set the record straight.

    I like the design you did for me. Would I have done it different? Probably. Could I have done it better? No fucking way. Your design is awesome.

    I hate those people who are so quick to judge a blog on its design. In the long run the design doesn't matter. Its the content.

    I want you to know, that i entered the thunderdome long before you offered to redesign my site. I wouldn't have subjected you to this on purpose.

    If I win... you'll be vindicated.

    If I lose... I'll just slink away with my tail between my legs.

  5. tb: thanx. i know neither you nor chronic actually enter btd to torture me. was just exaggerating there at the end of the post.

    if you win, the judges will have made the right decision.

    if you lose, the judges are morons.

    you are far and away the better writer.

    that is, if they ever fucking decide.

  6. dena: there's no way i could ever design a site to reflect you.

    I will take that as a compliment.


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