Deep Thoughts: Calling

there is no one to call. not since i told mcdoofus to fuck off. not since dandelion left home. not that she should pick up for me anyway, if she could.

maybe there never has been anyone to call for longer than i care to remember.

i used to call them. sometimes. and occassioanlly they'd pick up, but i was never less alone. i was still either listening to them or else talking to myself.

except for. but lost now.

how pathetic is that. on tv when someone takes a bunch of sleeping pills or cuts into their wrists they always make some fateful phone call to some ambiguous friend.

should i choose to do that, i'd have no number to dial. no one to tell how lost i felt that i was this very desperate to be found.

but then again, i'm not a character on tv. and should i choose to end my life, maybe i'd want to say some goodbyes, but i'd never let them know why. i wouldn't call anyone then, even if i i could. maybe, in a way, that's why there's no one to call regardless of the circumstance.

don't call me. i'll call you. and if we should never speak again, it only means that we had nothing left to say.


  1. I'd call you; but I'm terrified of the telephone majority of the time.

    Besides, the battery on my cordless sucks nuts. It would probably go dead within our first few minutes of conversation anyhow.


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