Deep Thoughts: Will

he said i put you in my will. my first thought. why. my first response. i don't want your money. not that i knew how much money i was passing on. but nevertheless.

since then, i've often wondered whether it was true. or if it has remained true. not because i wanted to take something of him after he was gone, but because i could never figure out what he was willing to give. apparently more dead than alive. that's all i could surmise.

well, sure, it's much easier to give after you're gone. nothing's expected of you. you just leave what you do behind. and those that receive remain, wishing there was more of you in their hearts. in their lives. in the time you had before.

no one wants anyone they've loved to ever die, but sometimes they want them to realize they will. to take hold of what is life and not just relegate their love to portions of their estate.

what good is putting someone in your will, if you're not willing to let them into your life?

don't promise me tomorrow. give me tonight.


  1. Interesting isn't it? That someone who doesn't seem to have the time to give you now; has something to give later?

    I've never understood that myself.

    My grandfather on my dad's side,(not sure if you remember me talking about him before)died a few years back.

    He was an evil man. But anyhow, I received a check in the amount of $50.00 from the man. I rolled my eyes at the check; due to the fact that my last words to my grandfather were: "You are going to die a lonely old-man, just like you deserve." His response? "When I die you will not get any of my money!" I laughed. "I don't want your fucking money old man!"

    Ha, and then I get that damn check for fifty-bucks. WTF.

    What a spiteful asshole.

    On the bright-side: I was able to pay my phone-bill with somebody else's money for a change.


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