i don't know what love is. just another mystical concept contrived by mankind. like god, salvation and forgiveness. parodies of the various voids we know not how to fill in.

i don't know what i feel when i feel it. i just do. and that what comes out is usually the opposite. because god forbid anyone should know what i'm thinking.

he said how're you doing? i said, what yo do you want?

i'm callous like that soemtimes.

because the truth is i really do want to know what they want. why they called. why they're talking to me. there must be a reason. and it can't be good.

cause i'm me. and they're them. and there's always something awful waiting at the place where we'll meet.

i guess i'm a cloud. i want the storm. i'm responsible for it. but no matter where the rain comes from it's still wet. and cold. and dark.

and as soon as i dry off, it always beings to rain again.

i might not be thirsty anymore. but i'm damp. and shivering. and looking for a sun to rise in places where it can't.

he said how the hell are you. and i just ran away. like i always do. because it always seems to hurt to love someone. but i've never been so glad it does until.

even if you let them go. you always wonder. what they've kept of you.


  1. You know what love is.

    What about Ozzy Max? That was love. Right?
    Being callous is okay. You are cautious. As most of us are. But heck, throw yourself out there. What do you have to lose?

    I say nothing. But even nothing is too much for you to lose.
    You really want to know what people want? Why they called? Why they are talking to you?

    They don't do these things because they are un-interested. Are you kidding me?

    People who ask questions are those that are inquisitive and yearn for an answer.

    These people you speak of, are one's that are interested in YOU. They find you intriguing because, YOU ARE.
    There will always be something awful waiting for you at the place that you will meet because you only know the dark.
    I want the storm too. But the storm is a facade.

    The storm is is an anchor that grasps us by our ankles. Swallows us whole. Drags us to the bottom.

    How far do we want to be taken?
    As soon as you dry off, it always begins to rain again.

    Have you ever wondered if maybe that rain is renewal?

    Rain is sorrow that blooms.
    You might be damp and shivering. But you see the sun. The warmth that it can provide.

    It's just that you are not willing to step outside of your frigid shadows.

    Try it. For a day. For a moment.
    Love isn't suppose to hurt.

    Love is free. Love is fucked up. But it's still free.
    Yeah, I always wonder what they have kept of me.

    But I say FUCK IT.

    How come you didn't know of me when I was there?


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