Gifted without a Bow

I'm somewhat of an expert at self-loathing. All throughout my childhood and my public school education. Every test. Every teacher. Every standardized governmental assessment program promised me I was gifted. Destined to exact my revenge on all those less intelligent name callers when I was old enough to reap the rewards of my brilliance. I was to learn. Learn it easily. As I always had. Then use it to my advantage.

I learned easily enough. The few things grades k-12 of the new jersey public school system saw fit to teach me. It was after the learning that I got stuck. All my friends went off to college. To learn more while I felt confident I already knew plenty.

I wanted to go to art college, but my parents were having none of that. Regular college wasn't even a topic.

Why had all those tests lied to me? Said I had a future? Why had my parents started a life they couldn't complete?

The truly gifted do it on their own. They don't need parents or tests. While those of us who are marred by so much potential simply squander it.

An easy life when you're young makes for an empty life when you're old.

If I'm gifted, like they said I was, it isn't in the sort of gift anyone wants to receive. Success is the domain of the wealthy and the desperate. I'm neither.

Gifted. Not given.

Or taken.